Bro Code: How (not) to Treat a Lady

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anber

In this age of fast-paced consumerism, how do we avoid treating each other like commodities? We’ve all been guilty of it at some point – a certain lack of consideration or regard for the comfort & well-being of others around us. This has become more painfully obvious of late, in interactions with the opposite sex. What’s up bros? Too preoccupied to care anymore? 

Here’s my list of pet peeves. See anything familiar, ladies?

  1. Being non-chivalrous under the garb of “Feminism”

The concept of feminism has been used, abused, skewed and misinterpreted so much, that its become somewhat similar to that of 4 shadis in Islam; men will twist it to their advantage whenever and however it suits them. The shift from “men and women are equal” (what it actually means) to “I will get away with barely-there manners because she can do it all” seems to be the new dating bro-code. Of course she can, but it instead of sitting like a nincompoop and letting her pay the entire bill (well because she was raised to be a lady), have the decency to, at the very least, offer to pay it first. Heck, I have even been to a friends’ hang where I paid for the entire Table because nobody rose up to the challenge.

Don’t do that guys. You lose a lot of points when you do that to save a few bucks. It’s always polite to pay for someone, especially if you are the one who invited them (man or woman). If you can’t find it in you, just go Dutch and you can still salvage the situation.

You see – opening doors for someone, dropping a courtesy thank you message after a meet-up, standing by the car door as she leaves…….it just goes on to show the importance / value that you place on the other person . I’m not defining gender roles here  – I would do all of this for my girl friends (I still address my best friend with “Aap” instead of “Tum” , and she would always check up on me if I’ve reached home). You have to operate from a place of decency and respect to qualify as a gentleman / lady. So don’t give up on saying Sorry, Thank you and Please. That’s manners 101 (kindergarten stuff) just because of some misguided idea of what equality of the sexes looks like

  1. Being Crass

In this age of Kardashians, late night proxy visits, item numbers and Tinders / Minders (  the new ‘Halal’ dating app) , it is quite understandable (and unfortunate) to see women being objectified all the time. We females ourselves have played a role in that (that discussion is for another time), but heyyy, don’t crack that boy joke you heard from that cool pleyaaa friend of yours, in front of her. She might laugh at it, out of courtesy, but trust me she will JUDGE YOU and put a BIG cross in her head right away.

There’s nothing quite like a witty man – so share an interesting story or fun fact from the past and I’m sure she’ll have a good hearty laugh.

  1. Being all MEIN MEIN

If you’re stopping at a mart, ask her if she needs anything. If you’re going for lunch, ask her for food / restaurant preferences. If you want to hang out, politely ask if she’s available (don’t become a leecharr. If she said no, it’s a NO). If she’s carrying bags / luggage , hold them for her. If she looks upset / worried, ASK her and show concern. Ask Guys, ask.  Get your head out of your ass. Don’t be all “mein”.

  1. Making her wait – because , well, you’re the princess here

I mean we are talking basics now.  Respect people’s time. There’s nothing worse than making a girl wait, because your blowdry’ed Mohawk wasn’t behaving. If you can’t make it in time, let her know beforehand. Anything beyond 10mins calls for a sincere apology (and make-up gift – hehe).

  1. Going MIA / playing dead

“The decency of a phone call doesn’t exist”. I simply love this line brought up by one of my friends during a recent conversation about – well , breakups ! But in a wider context, it’s seriously rude if you meet someone, have a long chat – and then – completely ghost them. I have heard of girls meeting prospective rishta boys even, who never responded / called back – like EVER ! (aap humain bilkul passand nai aaye.) I mean theek hai, shaadi na karain but how impolite and indecent is going all MIA. If you’re not interested , the decent way to go about it would be to talk about it, or simply keep it in the friendzone till it fizzles out. But this vanishing act speaks a lot about you as a person and makes her feel that she wasn’t good enough for you. DON’T DO DAT ! *insert angry face*

P.S.Reminder to go easy on the perfume gaizz. Too much Khushboo Khushboo getting into the nostrils is a turn off.

P.P.S. Ladies, if you are experiencing or have experienced any of these (dangerous) signs, do yourself a favour and bail out. ASAP.

 

 

 

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